Balance Found in Tumultous Waves

Waves undulate up and down like enormous blankets of water encapsulating huge boulders and then sink below the sea walls, revealling the enormity of  the the rocks.

I sit here, in front of the famous Maverick's Swell at Pillar Point Harbor Beach - waves coming at me from three different directions as I am on the very edge of the sand at the bottom of the huge cliff and the abyss of the Pacific. As frightening as this is, I am oddly calm. Finally.

It has been hectic this last month- Alan, my new husband and the father of my little guy, has returned to school to become an architect (need I say more) and is continuing  his workaholism at the restaurant. I have transitioned between jobs and feel like a failure for not making both work. Someday, I'll learn that spreading yourself too thin only works for some people. I, on the other hand, need to retreat to places like this to find solace after the war and lick my wounds.

That is what the ocean has always done for me. For some, it may be burying themselves deeper in their work, which I admire on some level. For others their solace is in extreme sports, marathons, talk therapy or anti-depressants. My grandmother-in-law believes the ocean works for me because my horoscope is a "fire sign", (I do believe that since anything about 80 degrees fareinheit aggrivates me). Whichever it may be, the ocean pulls me out of the tornado of life and centers me. Combine the ocean with running and it's equivalent to "o.d.-ing" on anti-depressants!

I hope everyone out there can find a place in life that brings as much ethereal happiness.